Sometimes all you need out of a movie is to have a good time. Plot? Who needs it. A deep cast of engaging, interesting characters? Let’s not get greedy. Just give us one mega movie star completely in his bag, mix in some good fights, and a combination of cheesy and legitimate laughs, and you’ve got an entertaining movie.
Road House, the new remake of the 1989 cult classic of the same name, gets it. Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Elwood Dalton, a former UFC fighter who takes a job at the titular bar in the Florida Keys. The owner, Frankie (Jessica Williams), hires him to help fend off some local bad guys, led by businessman Ben Brandt (Billy Magnussen), who will seemingly stop at nothing to take over the bar’s land by any means necessary.
Nobody was straining any brain cells putting this story together. It’s just a big ol’ nothing burger. Road House’s entire plot would only be the starting point for most other movies. It’s an idea on an outline you build out from. There’s a bar, and a shady businessman (Magnussen’s Brandt) wants the land the bar is on. Conflict ensues. Pretty basic setup, but nothing wrong with that. But director Doug Liman and screenwriters Anthony Bagarozzi and Charles Mondry simply…stopped there. Even the “why” of Brandt wanting the land gets minimal focus. That reasoning is held back for most of the movie, like it’s some big secret, a surprising reveal. But in reality it’s exactly as simple and obvious as you’d expect from a movie like this.
It’s not a bad basic setup, but with no depth or interesting twists or takes on it, the movie’s success hinges on the characters and the fights/action. The characters are a bit hit or miss. Gyllenhaal is excellent as Dalton. Like the plot, there’s not much more to this character than what you see on the surface. There are hints to a troubled past, and the reasons why he’s no longer in the UFC. But it doesn’t fully get into it all. And that’s fine. You don’t have to have some incredibly detailed, specific backstory explaining why he’s in the position he’s currently in.
But what’s annoying is the movie teases it enough where you wish you knew more. You can speculate and extrapolate based on what we are shown. But if the movie is going to tell us as much as it does, then it needs to a little further. Otherwise, give us less. Just say he washed out, he got hurt, something simple and leave it at that. In the end, though, that doesn’t really matter, as Gyllenhaal has the talent and charisma to get the absolute most out of the character. He’s funny, smart, quippy, and a lethal fighter.
While Gyllenhaal gives the best performance, Billy Magnussen is the best-cast person here. It’s extremely specific, but if there’s someone better suited to playing a sleazy, smarmy, douchebag businessman than Magnussen, I don’t know who it would be (and I mean that 100% as a compliment). Again – and you’ll sense a theme here – no depth or development to this character either, but Magnussen brings all his natural charm and goofiness to the role to at least make him a fun character.
Those two are the clear highlights, with everyone else playing some variation of Generic Supporting Character. Daniela Melchior as the love interest, Lukas Gage as the younger bouncer Dalton trains (in the…art of bouncing? I guess?), J.D. Pardo as the cocky lackey, Joaquim de Almeida as the corrupt sheriff with a “surprising” connection to another character. Besides Gyllenhaal and Magnussen (and one more we’ll get to in a second), the only other person who stands out at all is Arturo Castro as Moe, another antagonist.
Road House has its share of laughs, and Moe gets some of the funniest bits. He’s a generally nice guy who got caught up with a bad crowd. For as much cheesy fun as Road House has, Castro helps balance that out with some legitimately funny lines and moments.
Then there’s Conor McGregor, making his acting debut, as Knox. And boy is it obvious that it’s his debut. The man is awful. He cannot act to save his life. To be fair, I wasn’t expecting him to be good, but I was not expecting it to be this bad. It’s distractingly bad at times. But the energy he brings is absolutely off the charts. He’s electric, maniacal, and ultra-violent. If McGregor can even get his acting ability up to “not terrible,” he could become a pretty memorable character actor, playing lethal and psychotic bad guy accomplices.
But even with basement-level acting talent, McGregor’s inclusion no doubt brings a level of authenticity to the fight scenes. There are a few good ones before his arrival – particularly one early on in the bar’s parking lot. But when Knox finally gets to face off with Dalton, it’s brutal. The fights look great, are well-choreographed, and are shot in an exciting, high-energy way.
And that’s where Road House really makes its bones: in the fight scenes and other action sequences. The laughs and good-looking people are added bonuses, but you come to a Road House remake for the fights. And it delivers. With such a weak story, it may have benefited from having them more spread out, or having more in the first half, but the second hour really kicks it up a notch, running into and through its third act finale at breakneck speed.
In the end, Road House is exactly what you would expect it to be. If a basic-as-it-comes story, held up by a cast of talented actors doing the best with what they’ve got, supported by enough laughs and some fun, engaging fights and action, with a genuine movie star at the center of it all is up your alley, then you’ll have a fun time here (so, exactly like its 1989 predecessor). Not every movie needs to open the door to deeper discussion or analysis, or have something interesting to say, or have a thought-out plot that makes sense all the time. Sometimes, watching jacked dudes beat the crap out of each other with some one-liners in between is just what the doctor ordered.
Grade: C+
