AFTERLIFE OF THE PARTY

I recently watched one of Netflix’s new original movies, Afterlife of the Party, and I need to talk about it. While it may not necessarily be a traditionally “good” movie, it affected me in a way no movie has in a long time. Maybe in a way no movie ever has. To be up front, as I write this, I don’t really know what my larger point is going to be. I just know I have some things I want to say. I’ll have to be like Michael Scott, and hope I find it along the way.

Afterlife of the Party stars Victoria Justice and Midori Francis as Cassie and Lisa, lifelong best friends. The movie begins with a party for Cassie’s 25th birthday. The two friends get into a fight on the way home, ending the night not on great terms. When Cassie wakes up hungover the next morning, she goes to the bathroom, only to slip and fall, hitting her head on the toilet, which kills her.

I lost a very close friend of mine unexpectedly our senior year of college. So to say I related to what the characters in the movie went through would be a massive understatement. Much of what Lisa goes through reminded me a lot of my experience.

Losing someone you love is never easy. Whether the person has been sick for a long time or it’s a freak accident like Cassie, you can never fully prepare yourself for it. But when you lose someone so unexpectedly, especially when they’re so young, it hurts in an entirely different way. They had their whole life ahead of them. You had years of memories to make together. But in the blink of an eye, gone, just like that. How do you learn to accept that? How do you even begin to move on? Of course I had family and friends to lean on. But I also had school, finals were coming up, graduation was less than a month away. I had built-in distractions.

But at the end of the day, they remained nothing more than distractions. I think I cried at least once a day for about a week straight. But over time, you begin to adjust to what your life is now. You eventually accept it and are “okay with it.” Or at least as okay as you can be. For some, that might be a month. For others, years. There’s no blueprint for healing after death. Death sucks. You go down the path to acceptance and closure, hoping you find them along the way.

You think about all the time you spent together, all the laughs and fun times. It’s not uncommon to think about any fights you might have had, focus on anything you might regret in your relationship. The bad things you can’t change are what can eat at you. I’m very fortunate that my last memory of my friend is a great one. Pretty much a perfect encapsulation of our friendship.

In Afterlife, Lisa doesn’t have that good fortune. Her and Cassie’s last moments together were spent arguing. But then the universe throws a twist their way. Cassie doesn’t go to Heaven or Hell. Instead, she finds herself in Purgatory. The movie doesn’t call it Purgatory, but come on, it’s Purgatory. In order to get to “the Afterlife party in Heaven,” Cassie has three people she needs to help. On the list in addition to Lisa are Cassie’s mom and dad. Cassie and Lisa are able to directly interact, giving them both the opportunity for closure.

The idea is certainly an enticing one. If a friend dies, who wouldn’t want the opportunity to say things they never did, to apologize for anything unapologized for, to see them for one minute more, to hug them one more time? It’s something anyone who has experienced loss can relate to.

Strictly as a movie, Afterlife has its share of flaws, for sure. But when you connect so intimately with the story being told, who cares? Had I not had such a strong personal connection, the movie would not have worked nearly as well for me. But again, who cares? I did have that strong connection, so the movie did work for me. Not only that, it was cathartic in a way I never would have thought it could be.

I was able to imagine myself in Lisa’s shoes, thinking about what I would do if I could see my friend again. Without a doubt, we would jump right back in to making fun of each other; that’s what our friendship was built on. We would talk about Harry Potter and the Hunger Games. We would (hopefully) agree that Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is absolutely not canon, and that The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes was a decent enough book, but wholly unnecessary.

One other theme in Afterlife that really spoke to me was how we keep the memories of those we’ve lost alive in our lives. It’s something I still think about, even now, nearly 10 years later. I still go to Taco Bell every year on her birthday and the anniversary of her death. I often think of her any time I see a pig (she loved pigs). As cliché as it might sound, those that we lose are never truly gone. We can honor their lives and memories by living a life they would be proud of.

All of this adds up to being a huge reason why I love movies. They have untapped potential to affect you in profound ways. And it can happen when you least expect it. I knew the plot of Afterlife going into it. And yet it honestly never crossed my mind how I might relate to the story. I imagined it would be your standard fare Netflix original. Cute at times, corny and cheesy and predictable almost the rest of the time. And, well, it was. But even still, it was able to break through all that and kick me in my stomach and touch me in my heart.

So watch movies. Anything you can get your eyes on. Not everything will be good. Most probably won’t be better than average. But it only makes those unique, stand-out experiences that much more important and powerful. Maybe there’s a great comedy that helps after a crappy week at work, or a story inspiring you to apply for that dream job you think you’re unqualified for. Or a sappy streaming movie that reminds you of one of the worst times in your life, and helps you deal with it with unexpected sadness and joy.

And for that, thank you to Afterlife of the Party. Thank you to Victoria Justice and Francis Midori and Stephen Herek and Carrie Freedle.

So did this have a point? Did I find it along the way? I think so…maybe a few times. Watch movies (the least important one), cherish the time you have with those you love, don’t dwell on things you can’t change, don’t let the positive effects of those you’ve lost wane away. They were a part of your life for a reason. Keep them a part of your life.